Hello, guys.
I'm going to talk about spooky story of my childhood to my students. Following sentences is the script of the story. I want you to look through it and point out the parts which need to amend. Thank you for your corporation.
(Sorry, it's kinda long sentence😓)

This is a story of a night when I was four years old. I was playing a toy that made loud sound in my room. Suddenly, my room got silent and my heartbeat became big. And I heard someone's footsteps approaching to my room. I noticed that footsteps were not my family's. I hid under my bed and then someone entered into my room. Someone come to my bedside slowly, and squatted at there. Someone was trying to look into under the bed. But, I had a blackout and couldn't see the someone's face. Next morning, I woke up on the bed as usual though I didn't remember how I got to above my bed.

Question

Hello, guys.
I'm going to talk about spooky story of my childhood to my students. Following sentences is the script of the story. I want you to look through it and point out the parts which need to amend.  Thank you for your corporation.
(Sorry, it's kinda long sentence😓)

This is a story of a night when I was four years old. I was playing a toy that made loud sound in my room. Suddenly, my room got silent and my heartbeat became big. And I heard someone's footsteps approaching to my room. I noticed that footsteps were not my family's. I hid under my bed and then someone entered into my room. Someone come to my bedside slowly, and squatted at there. Someone was trying to look into under the bed. But, I had a blackout and couldn't see the someone's face. Next morning, I woke up on the bed as usual though I didn't remember how I got to above my bed.

pitovipers · Answer

Omg, that story is spooky as heck! I got chills just reading it; if you tell it as well as you wrote it, your students will all faint with fear. Here are a few edits:
. . . I was playing in my room with a toy that made a loud sound. Suddenly my room became silent, so quiet that I could hear my heart beating. Then I heard someone’s footsteps approaching my room. They were definitely not the footsteps of anyone in my family. I got so scared I hid under my bed and heard someone enter the room. They approached my bed slowly, and I saw their legs as they squatted down. They were trying to see under the bed, but I don’t remember anything after that because I blacked out. The next morning I woke up to find myself in my bed as usual, but with no memory of how I got there.

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