自然な言い方での添削をお願いしたいです。
I want to go to study abroad in Canada after I graduate from university.
I think of doing a coop study abroad program.
The coop study abroad is to learn about specialized business during the first half of their study period, and then work for a company during the second half.
Also, I want to work in the tourism industry in the future.
So, I learn about business knowledge in the college.
But There are two problems with attend a university.
First, it is about studying.
It is a certain level of English is required with attend a university.
Specifically, you need to obtain a TOEIC score of 750.
But my TOEIC score is 430.
So, I study English every day.
Like, I’m studying English online, learning about, how to converse in English online and improving my vocabulary.
Second, about the cost.
I will need at least $30,000 to study in Canada.
I‘m currently work part-time job to save up money.
I’d like to solve these problems and go to Canada in next spring.

@nakafarao (some suggestions for you are marked with an asterisk ^^ you did very well)

*I want to study in Canada after I graduate from university.

*I am thinking of doing a co-op study program abroad.

*The co-op study program is to learn about specialized business during the first half of their study period, and then work for a company during the second half.

✅️Also, I want to work in the tourism industry in the future.

*So, I am learning about business in college.

*but there are two problems in attending a university.

*First, it is about studying.
A certain level of English is required when you attend university.

✅️Specifically, you need to obtain a TOEIC score of 750 but my TOEIC score is 430.

*So, I study English every day. I’m studying English online, learning about how to converse in English and improving my vocabulary.

✅️Second, about the cost.
I will need at least $30,000 to study in Canada.

*I'm currently working part-time to save up money.

*I’d like to solve these problems and go to Canada next spring.