Self-introduction
My name is JIE-YING , LIU，I was born in Taichung City， I am 18 years old
， There are seven peoplen in my family ，we are very happy middle-class
family。I graduate from Chiayi senior high school and major in Music ， I like
to do anything relating to Music such as singing song，playing viola，and
improvise。Every time when I have chance, I would go to the music theater to
listen to symphony and orchestra performances ，and I moved by the music every
time 。
My ambition is to be a Music therapist，because music is from the language of
the mind.，it can bring people into their own pesonhood ，can bring sense of
identity back to people who are out of it，because music is the medicine of
the disease cure thought， Therefore I want to use my music soften hearts for
good !
Thank for your time

It’s mostly correct and easy to understand, but there are small mistakes.

My corrections:

My name is Jie-Ying Liu. I was born in Taichung City. I am 18 years old.

There are seven people in my family. We are a very happy middle-class family. I graduated from Chiayi Senior High School and am majoring in music. I like to do anything related to music such as singing songs, playing the viola, and improvising. Whenever I have a chance, I would go to the music theater to listen to symphonies and orchestra performances, and I am moved by the music every time.

My ambition is to be a music therapist, because music is the language of the mind. It can bring people into their personhood and bring a sense of identity back to people who are out of it, because music is the medicine that can cure diseases in thoughts. Therefore, I want to use my music for good and soften hearts!
Thanks for your time.