Can you help me to correct this, thank you very much
I went to study in Panama nearly a year, except the advance in languages, I have also broadened the horizons by studying with classmates from all over the world. In that year, I had also supported some activities conducted by Taiwan Embassy in Panama, I have experienced and learned a lot, these experiences also let me learn about how to have a good manner within the society .
Apart from doing well at the work assigned by the company, I will also maintain good communication with my superiors and my colleagues in the work. At the same time, I will never forget to learn from my superiors and my colleagues to improve my working abilities.
Learning humbly, actively doing well everything is my attitude to work, and through study further constantly to improve my ability. I hope your company can give me the opportunity to work for your company

Question

Can you help me to correct this, thank you very much
  I went to study in Panama nearly a year, except the advance in languages, I have also broadened the horizons by studying with classmates from all over the world. In that year, I had also supported some activities conducted by Taiwan Embassy in Panama, I have experienced and learned a lot, these experiences also let me learn about how to have a good manner within the society .
  Apart from doing well at the work assigned by the company, I will also maintain good communication with my superiors and my colleagues in the work. At the same time, I will never forget to learn from my superiors and my colleagues to improve my working abilities.
  Learning humbly, actively doing well everything is my attitude to work, and through study further constantly to improve my ability. I hope your company can give me the opportunity to work for your company

Gelöschter Nutzer · Answer

I went to study in Panama nearly for a year. During my studies I not only made I learnt a lot of the  language but also I also broadened my views by studying with classmates from all over the world. During that that year I also supported some activities conducted by Taiwan Embassy in Panama which  I I consider as unique experience and additional meaningful lesson, too. As an example I learnt a lot about good manners in different situations.
Apart from doing well at the work assigned by the company I I was well-liked for my personality with my superiors and my colleagues. At the same time, I was constantly learning from my superiors and my colleagues to improve my skills.
Learning humbly, actively doing everything with high quality  is my attitude towards work. I am constantly driven to study further in order to improve myself. I would like to ask if there in case there are  opportunities for me to work in your company, please.

rnsgrhm · Answer

@Chengyahan

I went to study in Panama for nearly a year. During my studies I not only learned the language, I also broadened my views by studying with classmates from all over the world. During that that year I also organized several activities conducted by the Taiwanese Embassy in Panama which I consider a unique experience offering additional meaningful lessons. As an example, I learned a lot about propper etiquette in incredibly diverse situations XXX.
Apart from doing well at the work assigned by your company I will be well-liked for my personality by both my superiors and my colleagues. At the same time, I will also be constantly learning from them to improve my skills.
Learning humbly and actively doing everything with the highest quality is my attitude towards work. I am constantly driven to study further in order to improve myself. Therefore, I would like to ask if there are opportunities for me to work in your company.

That should be better. You should know that a good cover letter should say more about what you can do for the company and why you are interested in them. Still, it was a nice essay to start with.

rnsgrhm · Answer

@Chengyahan Edited further with that in mind.

I also think you should replace the XXX in my edit with an actual anecdote of you working on a embassy event. Exaggerate your importance into something that seems related to the position you want in the company.

@Chengyahan Edited further with that in mind.I also think you should replace the XXX in my edit with an actual anecdote of you working on a embassy event. Exaggerate your importance into something that seems related to the position you want in the company.

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@Chengyahan Edited further with that in mind.

I also think you should replace the XXX in my edit with an actual anecdote of you working on a embassy event. Exaggerate your importance into something that seems related to the position you want in the company.