Question
Aktualisiert am
10 Jul 2018

  • Japanisch
  • Englisch (US)
Frage über Englisch (US)

Would you check and corect my English?

Hello, everyone. Thank you for being here today.
I am a freshman at Kobe University.
Today, I talk about Yosakoi, because I would like you to know the fun of Yosakoi.
Do you know Yosakoi? Yosakoi is traditional dance born in Kochi after World War 2. Then, Yosakoi was spread around Japan.
I belong to yosakoi team called Yamabiko. Yamabiko is an intercollege team, so many people from other college belong too.
In this presentation, I want to talk episode that I met Yosakoi in my childhood. Second, I want to talk about the charm of Yosakoi.
   First, I tell you my story that I met Yosakoi. When I went to elementary school, in my hometown, we have Yosakoi festival called GOZARE GO-SHU. At that time, I belonged to the kid’s yosakoi team. This is the first time I met Yosakoi. In this festival, many teams join in, from kids to adults. I knew the fun of Yosakoi and I like doing Yosakoi. This is my start of Yosakoi. This picture is my memory of yosakoi.
Then, when I become a high school student, I knew many teams from the various university. Their dance, costume, and smile are very beautiful and attractive. I admire it. I decide to do Yosakoi in university.
Next, I want to introduce the charms of Yosakoi. One of them is performance made by themselves. In all Japan, many festivals are held every year. And many teams join it with their performance. They make choreography and design their costumes. It is very beautiful and gorgeous. Of course, it is difficult to dance well. I practice hard every time, but it cannot go through well easily. I think it is also a charm of Yosakoi. Yosakoi is difficult but fun.
To sum up, in this presentation, I talked about Yosakoi. First, I introduced my chance I met yosakoi. Second, I talked about the charm of Yoskaoi. Many people in this class may not see Yosakoi. If you are interested in Yosakoi through this presentation, I feel happy. Our team Yamabiko now practice new performance for the festival held in Wakayama in August. Also, we dance in Kobe. Please look at our performance and know it.
Thank you for listening.

Are these sentences natural?

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Would you check and corect my English?

Hello, everyone. Thank you for being here today.
I am a freshman at Kobe University.
Today, I talk about Yosakoi, because I would like you to know the fun of Yosakoi.
Do you know Yosakoi? Yosakoi is traditional dance born in Kochi after World War 2. Then, Yosakoi was spread around Japan.
I belong to yosakoi team called Yamabiko. Yamabiko is an intercollege team, so many people from other college belong too.
     In this presentation, I want to talk episode that I met Yosakoi in my childhood. Second, I want to talk about the charm of Yosakoi. 
   First, I tell you my story that I met Yosakoi. When I went to elementary school, in my hometown, we have Yosakoi festival called GOZARE GO-SHU. At that time, I belonged to the kid’s yosakoi team. This is the first time I met Yosakoi. In this festival, many teams join in, from kids to adults. I knew the fun of Yosakoi and I like doing Yosakoi. This is my start of Yosakoi. This picture is my memory of yosakoi.
     Then, when I become a high school student, I knew many teams from the various university. Their dance, costume, and smile are very beautiful and attractive. I admire it. I decide to do Yosakoi in university.
     Next, I want to introduce the charms of Yosakoi. One of them is performance made by themselves. In all Japan, many festivals are held every year. And many teams join it with their performance. They make choreography and design their costumes. It is very beautiful and gorgeous. Of course, it is difficult to dance well. I practice hard every time, but it cannot go through well easily. I think it is also a charm of Yosakoi. Yosakoi is difficult but fun.
      To sum up, in this presentation, I talked about Yosakoi. First, I introduced my chance I met yosakoi. Second, I talked about the charm of Yoskaoi. Many people in this class may not see Yosakoi. If you are interested in Yosakoi through this presentation, I feel happy. Our team Yamabiko now practice new performance for the festival held in Wakayama in August. Also, we dance in Kobe. Please look at our performance and know it. 
      Thank you for listening.

Are these sentences natural?
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